7/17/18- The good news is my schedule is clearing up within the next 48 hours, so presumably, if you've followed the rules of the site, we should have very few delays with any sort of emails or follow ups.
The bad news is if you've broken heckling protocol, if you've repeatedly misused forms on my site as a form of rushing through your email, if you've complained that I didn't get back to you on my days off (saturday and sunday,) or haven't waited even the standard time for response...you're fired. To hell with letting you reset your wait and getting back to you "in line" with everyone else for the 100 millionth time when, if you lower yourself to that behavior (and it's about six of you of my approximately 75 active cases,) you won't learn. I'm tired of being nice, an be clear...five years ago, if you had used too much exclamation points and said anything like "Why haven't you replied to me?" with less than 5 days passing from your last email, I would have probably warned you once and fired you on the spot the second time. I've totally softened, and while that seems to help MOST of my clients, a few are just not getting it.
I work 16+ hours a day, and until recently hadn't even had a real sick day in probably over a decade. I don't make you pay to email me. Do you realize several people make you pay just to talk to them AT ALL?
But why talk to those fired people? :) I'm left with the rest of you who don't suffer from using!! too!! many!! exclamation!! points!! and who know how and when to use my forms. ;) So, we're good. :) There's a big sale over at my blog, so check it out. I love you remaining 68-69 awesome clients. :)
Oh, and fired people I'll be firing you personally in the next day or so, but if you're pretty sure you know who you are, read the client agreement and the TOS....go over that AND the disclaimer (which is really harder to read than the first 2,) and if you do not hear "you're fired" from me in the next 48 hours, consider yourself lucky. I do not deserve to work to the point of having no social life, hardly any time for my loved ones, or even enough sleep to deal with some of the badness I've had lately.
I am glad my softening on my own stern stance has helped some people but I'm sorry it lets some bad behaviors persist in others. SMH.
7/12/18- GOODNESS! Can some of you PLEASE PAY YOUR BILLS!? Ridiculously overdue bills are ridiculously overdue. I am not talking about someone needing a day here or there. I am fine with that. However, SEVERAL DAYS LATE is not acceptable, especially when I have no reason to believe I'll ever see the payment... If I've cancelled your invoice (because you never paid, and I get paid in advance so the only thing I lost was time in those cases,) you are probably not welcome to come back and ask for services.
I am going to be late with confirmations and replies today. I was pretty much non-stop doing live work today. Sorry for any inconvenience...which is doubled by my falling asleep while working on Tuesday/Wednesday, and apparently sleeping on the touch screen open to my email, which has made sorting a new interesting hobby. ;) (Never ever do replies while half asleep - lesson maybe learned this time, ha ha...though I'm certain more than one of you have had a giggle at one of my half awake replies sent either very late or very early, hehe.)
Please keep in mind there is only one me, and many of you. This means I can only do so much every day, and not that I'm ignoring anyone. :)
7/6/18- I am paying a lot of my monthly bills today and tomorrow, so please pay your invoices. I can't just tell my cable company or the hospital (yay, horrifying medical bills from May, lol,) or my cellphone company with promises to pay me from my clients. I have a lot of people who have held off on paying for just this day or that day, and I really really need you to pay those bills.
While I don't want anyone to consider tomorrow a business day in the proper sense (because if this heat wave doesn't break, I will probably be here wishing I could sit in an ice bucket, ha ha,) I am going through my inbox so I can make sure I've picked up on some loose threads in my inbox. Basically answering from a cellphone, iPad, and computer does occaisionally make me drop a thread. I miss Windows Mail 7 (never a mistake!) but unfortunately Microsoft doesn't let me use that and has made it impossible to download. Soooo, now we all have to let me take a day every 2 weeks or so to make sure I find all "loose threads" and pick them up. ;)
My landline is not working....hopefully Spectrum will have that fixed in a few hours, but I am not entirely clear what is wrong, so I am not sure. :P
7/4/18 - So.... I do love ya guys, but why are so many of you NOT PAYING YOUR OVERDUE INVOICES. It's really bordering on the absurd. I can't pay my bills with people's promises to pay their bills. :/
Today is a HOLIDAY. Please do not count it as a business day.
Lastly, please be considerate with your volume of email. I could reply to everyone 200x faster if I did not get 10+ emails a day from several clients. ;)
6/25/18- Hey everyone, can you please PAY YOUR OVERDUE INVOICES? It's actually pretty ridiculous how many open invoices I have currently. ;) While normally I am patient, in this case, it borders on the absurd which is multiplied by the fact that yesterday was "being a mouthy asshat to Cat," day (most everyone was awesome when I was ill, so I suspect I was overdue for one of those days,) so....yeah, please pay your invoices. Waiting another month, week, or year for you to come up with the needed amount is not helpful, and I've still got my nose bent a bit out of place (figuratively,) after dealing with everyone who was in a rotten mood taking it out on me. Now if like 3 of those 18 overdue invoices were paid, I'd be like...so much more happy. ;) If you have an open bill, please attend to it ASAP.
Please DO NOT send several reminders about emails. I was in conjure ALL DAY on Friday, I took my days off (Saturday and Sunday,) and I am still having people catching up with me from LAST MONTH (seriously, people are just now writing to catch up after having not spoken to me since May, ha,) so I am not as speedy as I can be in reply. I apologize for that, but waiting a business day or two to hear from me does not give a valid reason to act badly (see above,) when I've been working some incredibly long days. Yesterday I worked from around six am (I woke up around 5am) until 2am, so I think that shows I am trying to get to everyone. ;)
To the 2 people I am making dollies for - I need an extra 2 days (I actually emailed you privately as well,) because my supply of a particular ingredient I use to stuff these apparently got damp...because now it is moldy. Ew. We did have some torrential rains here last week, and I suspect the fact that my entire house felt kind of damp the next day is the cause. So, I have reordered this, but that supply house generally has a 3 day turn around, and I ordered yesterday. I apologize, but I wasn't going to send you a moldy dolly.
For my 1-year plan subscribers - while it would be awesome if my finances evened out (I basically owe Portland hospitals more than a price of a new Lexus, ugh,) I know that I was unavailable to you for a month, and though I do not see anything here in regards to complaints from anyone, (yay,) I am extending everyone's plan an extra month. :)
Since I know a few of you have been pleading poverty (see unpaid bills above,) I would like to suggest praying to Saint Expedite, who has helped both me and John on multiple occaisions with the rent. SaintExpedite.org is a fabulous resource for prayers and instructions on how to work with the Saint. Hopefully this is some help! :)
There is currently a special on readings. Check the scheduler to get in on it!
6/11/18- Sorry for the late update. It's actually a lot more complex to update this part of the site than it used to be with the old design, and since half of my clients check my blog and not here, it hasn't been too bad for many people. ;) BUT, I need to get on top of keeping this part of the site updated.
PLEASE pay your bills in a timely manner.
PLEASE DO NOT REPEATEDLY EMAIL ME FOR A FASTER RESPONSE! All that you do is reset your wait. While 85% of my catching up is done, I still have a 2-3 business day wait in some cases for replies. :/ My system has always been set up to reward the more patient clients. Each new email you send just brings you to the back of the line. While I do tend to respond to "emergencies" right away, most situations are not going to be experiencing extremely time sensitive issues. I'm more apt to FIRE someone for having fights with my inbox (because you want a reply in 2 hours so you think hitting my inbox frequently with more and more of an attitude will some how speed a response,) than I am to kowtow to the demands of someone who behaves like that. I have been in business for 15 years and am in no way frightened or goaded by rude or demanding behavior...I've seen it all.
You can now schedule your own readings! :) If you like this set up (a lot of my international clients really do, but less than a quarter of my USA clients seem to, ha,) please feel free to use it! :) It's saved me a lot of time, actually, and I really love it.
There is a 10% off sale this week on everything! :)
And yes, I feel totally better...except I still look a bit abnormal still, and probably will for up to another 2 weeks. Also, from being on antibiotics so long, I need to take probiotics to reset my belly (antibiotics kill the good bacteria too,) so I might be more gassy for a little bit, but thankfully no in house readings are happening, so you're all safe. ;)
5/23/18- As posted on my blog, I was in the hospital for 2 days with preseptal cellulitis, which is a fancy way of saying that I got a small scratch on my cheekbone, and the frontal fleshy area of my eye (not behind the eye or the actual eyeball,) swelled up and became the size of an orange because a bacteria had entered that little wound and was trying to kill me. I am assured by several medical professionals that had I not come in within the next 12 to 24 hours (or even less, possibly,) that I would have died. I felt really actually quite fine, for the most part, other than looking horrifying, and I still feel fine and am on tons of antibiotics, though I still look like shit, ha ha. HOWEVER, your appointment may have been missed as I can't really discuss your issues in a shared hospital room without annoying or terrifying my poor roommate...plus there were a lot of beeping noises and people drawing my blood and stuff, so it was a bit distracting. Please reschedule using this fancy link. :) I'm on the mend so now the really scary part is the bill as I DO NOT HAVE INSURANCE. :(
5/14/18- As posted on my blog, I need all of my active cases to make an appointment with me here, so we can catch up quickly. I am back in Portland, I am totally working for 14 hour days again like you're all used to, and I don't plan on taking any vacations nor should I have any absences for the forseeable future, so I do apologize for having basically a (not fun at all) month off of work, and it was nothing to do with any of you making me mad or me ignoring you. I basically would rather have been working (really) for every second I was away, but sometimes life happens.
I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING NEW BUSINESS for a few days until I have taken care of old business. It isn't because I don't want your business (I really could use it, seeing as I haven't earned any money for a month,) but I need to take care of my paid stuff.
If you sent in an application for new work, please RE-SEND it, and I will try to get to you by THURSDAY OR FRIDAY OF THIS WEEK.
Thanks, everyone, for your patience. I suspect I'll be clearing out a few people if rude behavior starts up, so I think I'll be caught up super fast. :)
4/24/18 - Hey there everyone. Sorry for my absence. My grandmother was taken ill suddenly and seeing as she was a few weeks from her 96th birthday, it was pretty clear that this was serious. This kept me from work for a little over a week, and I'm afraid she passed away this morning, so I will need to be at the funeral in the next week or so, HOWEVER, I will not be without internet again, so other than the actual funeral, I should be reachable. Please kindly give me some time to set up a system to rapidly take care of overdue business. Thank you.
Again, while I shouldn't have to say this, my absence was in no way personal against any client whatsoever, so please do not take it as a statement against you. I do apologize for not having wifi where I was and again, I've remedied the problem to have a device with cellular internet capability in the future so that no one is forced to wonder where in the heck I am henceforth. Thank you so much for your patience.
4/5/18- Hey there everyone, as posted on my blog, my better half had a flare up of a health issue he has and also my computer randomly died again, so that is where I was for the last day or so. Were I not so BEHIND ON MY MOFUGGIN EMAILS, I'd have said to hell with this week, and taken the rest off, but I am not going to, because damnit, I'm getting caught up.
There are no conjures available for at least 2 weeks. I don't have the spare time to do the follow ups, I can't travel to do them right now, and so that is what it is. I need to sort my last 2 follow ups out as is.
I am not available for readings past 5:30pm until at least May.
I will be working this weekend to catch up. Thank you for your patience.
3/29/18- I seem to be a walking Mercury retrograde. I apologize for my site being down for part of yesterday. I basically had 6-7 hours (from approximately 10:30am-7pm) where if you emailed me during this time, it MAY have shown up later (I can't be entirely sure, some of it did show up later, some likely did not), all because I was supposedly having my cable provider getting the honor of providing my domain name (so I could pay less to own a domain name I've owned for almost 20 years,) and this was supposed to be done the 22nd, but apparently, no, no one did it, and then I looked like a jackass because the current domain name provider just figured no one paid them for the year and shut my site off....when technically no one did, since, er, I paid someone else who refunded me for it, and if that's confusing, just...Mercury retrograde bites. :P
To make this even more aggravating I had a huge ritual to do from 8am or so til mid afternoon. Making anything cancelled or moved not able to be rescheduled today at least until late. I seriously would love Mercury to stop retrograding all over my life, lol.
That said, I am free tomorrow excluding between 1-3pm, and hopefully I can get caught up by then without something else happening to my communications or business sites. ;)
3/27/18- Yep, it's definitely retrograding all over me. We decided to return our stinky modem, as from what I could tell it was giving myself and John the world's worst web, made our cable wonky, and well...we all know I've been having problems emailing large (lots of data) emails, where they are not even going through. So, this involved taking the modem and cable box to the cable co, which since it's a bit away from us and we live in the city and don't have a vehicle meant getting a ride to drop this off and then get a new one. I figured "Yay, I can take 3 hours away from the mofuggin phone and email!" and sent off my fiance with the offending cable hardware. He did complete this task, ran another errand, and lo and behold left the modem in his buddy's car. So we figured this out shortly upon him returning home, and what started out as me thinking we'd just have an extra hour's delay turned into almost 30 hours without internet, phone, or cable. :( Because apparently when you have a car and you give your buddy a ride somewhere it's too hard to drive 7 miles back there within a few hours....yeah. So I'm not dead, and I'm sorry that I could not tell everyone where I was for over a day. I know I have to reschedule some things. Please forgive me for all of the trouble. :(
I will try to figure out a special once I come to grips with the horrifying inbox mess that occurs when I am stuck without access to my email for 30 hours. :( So you'll save money, once I pull myself out of this crazy mess! :)
3/17/18- Hey everyone, I had to be out of the office yesterday unexpectedly. I've been putting in some long days, often ending my work around midnight and starting around 7-8am (sometimes later or earlier,) so I did not expect ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-TWO NEW EMAILS in 24 hours. :( Please try to LIMIT communication so it is NOT several emails in a single day. Please refer to the terms of service where, outside of huge emergencies, this is really not necessary and slows EVERYONE'S RESPONSE TIME.
Please DO NOT use Facebook as a primary mode (or an unscheduled mode) to contact me. I check in maybe once a day, and since MOST of the messages I get are from school friends or people entirely unrelated to work, I check my messages there even less often. :/ I used to be on Facebook way too much and I have, by choice, cut down my social media presence. At one point, it was sort of a nice escape with funny pics to visit there between readings, but now it's just a lot of angry opinions and political BS and I find it better to not go on there nearly as much as I did even a few years ago.
While I am actually a pretty patient and nice person, please do not lower yourself to being rude. 3 different clients of mine have said this in the last week and I have to agree - for reasons known only to the Gods, even the nicest people decided to get downright nasty in the last 10-12 days - not just at my business or in my life, judging from what I gathered from multiple clients complaining of the same problems in their lives. Well, that's terrible, and honestly, ineffective in dealing with 90% of the population, so if you're one of these people, try not acting rude to others. This won't get you anywhere with me...if someone acts out one too many times, I fire them. It's right in the TOS and client agreement. I have enough people who do not have a problem with this, so I don't need to entertain someone who can't be pleasant when I deal with them.
As always, many thanks to MOST of my clients, who are a pleasure to work for. :) It's a shame that some bad behaviors stand out so much and that I have to discuss them, when in reality, most of you are a blessing. :)
3/13/18 - I was playing catch up for the last 20 hours (literally very little sleep,) so I am coming into the office a bit late today. I am still playing catch up tomorrow but I put a real hurting on my inbox already. :D I am looking at having backlog cleared at an amazing speed if I can keep this up. Let us all pray the gods of coffee won't fail me in the next 48 hours. :)
Thanks for the kind thoughts on my busted molar. $3000 to fix it, but when I do, I'll have a shiny new crown, so, that's good? ;)
3/12/18- I'm sure some people are freaking out already, but I cracked my upper left molar all the way to the root, and was pretty much in a world of hurt for a little bit, so if I am late in reply please understand that I had a broken molar with an exposed nerve, and it wasn't anything personal.
Also, if I replied to anything at like 2-3 am, that's probably because I also didn't get a lot of sleep (I'm actually super tired right now that I am not in a world of hurt, ha,) and was trying to get a few brief things done. :P
Thanks for understanding.
Oh, and what did it? A barbecue potato chip. It's always gotta be something where i Could have chewed through leather or something and nothing happened, then something relatively easily palatable cracks a tooth. The all time weirdest thing ever to chip one of my teeth was iceberg lettuce. :P The reality is that I suffer from bruxism (tooth grinding) in my sleep, so it was probably waiting to happen. :P
3/7/18- The client agreement has been updated under part 18. All chargebacks now cost $350 EXCLUDING chargebacks instituted on a service not provided which are now $100. Please check it out. And if I cancelled a service or you did before it was provided, kindly request a refund, and then there is no chargeback fee. ;)
3/2/18 - While definitely not the most WTF week ever, (2017 still contains the most by that description, ha ha) this week certainly was kinda WTF. ;) Bird ate my phone, still need a landline (it's embarrassing to admit a bird can eat a phone, but he does,) unflagged all of my emails, and managed to get sick around midweek and am feeling better at last, though forgive me if you thought I was weird on Wednesday...me coming down with a mild fever usually means I'm a bit rambling, though most people don't notice (leading me to believe I'm always a bit on the rambling side.) ;)
Luckily most of you missed that, so I'm not too shamed, ha ha. ;) I'm feeling tons better - in fact other than being super lacking in energy once I realized I wasn't doing so hot, I was mostly fine...just sleeping too much for a day or two. I was able to complete spells but did not manage to go out and replace the bird molested work phone, so that will have to happen this weekend. Please let me reschedule all missed readings with you today and tomorrow, with my apologies for any wait. If you prefer a chat reading, I will set that up, and it might be faster to schedule than a phone reading.
Please do me one favor and DO NOT FREAK OUT IN MY INBOX. Replies are behind, yes. I'm trying to work quickly to remedy the situation. Most people don't need me to write a novel, so hopefully I will have that solved in a few days. :) It helps me when you do not send me MULTIPLE EMAILS in an effort to speed reply. That actually slows replies for you and for everyone else.
2/20/18 - OUTLOOK is finally set up. No more stinky webmail!!! It only took forever for me to be able to locate the damn bug causing outlook not to download my emails. :P Looks like it is syncing properly, and everything in my sent box on webmail has moved over. Hallilujah, we have working email reader again. :) For those of you not in the know, an inferior reader program like Win10 mail only uploads emails on the webmail server, and never syncs the program to the inbox, so I couldn't keep a record of sent emails. Outlook actually communicates non-stop with my webmail, and so anything I sent on webmail over the last month or so now has a record in my inbox and sentbox in Outlook. It's a blessing.
This does mean I need to go through A TON OF EMAIL. :P Now that I can sort everything the way I like, I need to find all those dropped threads and etc. It will take a few days. If you were missing replies from me, you might be like "really? I sent this 2 weeks ago, and we've talked since," because I really need to make sure I have everyone updated.
The sale ends TONIGHT, so if you've not taken advantage of it, now is the time.
2/16/18 -Huge sale over at my blog to celebrate me getting my computer back and finally all set up.
Please do not consider yesterday a business day. I literally needed 24 hours or more to get this computer back the way I want it. :)
2/9/18- Due to a thief, I'll be closed until at least Monday. Unfortunately some people think it's brilliant to rob a rootworker. And one who knows the law as well as I do. ;) I'll be dealing with the legal BS for a few days. :/
Remember, if you ever have a problem with a service or you think you might be due a refund for a service NOT PERFORMED, please contact me. It might take 2-6 hours for me to refund, but I do if you're entitled. If you just try to chargeback, you're due $250-$350 per item charged back. I've reimbursed more than one person for a service that was never performed (like readings,) so it's not a problem. Stealing the money IS a problem. Please settle your payment issues WITH ME, or else you breach contract and end up owing A LOT MORE than whatever you couldn't wait a handful of hours to get back. I have existing active repeat clients who have had unrendered services reimbursed, but if you stole from me via chargeback, it's the same as grabbing money out of my wallet - please have enough class to sort these issues with me and do not commit theft of services or fraud. It's not just a violation of your contract, it wastes everyone's time while I deal with your actions.
2/5/18 - Please DO NOT count today as a business day. I'll be out of the office for too large of a portion of today to count it as such.
My cable service has been a bit wonky with the unpredictable weather in the last week or so. Sorry for any inconvenience. :/
2/1/18- Thank you to everyone who made payments on their overdue bills, albeit those who did were not the ones considered to be in serious violation of payment plans...so, I deeply appreciate it, and yet I apologize if you felt threatened by the last group of announcements. :(
I am late on a few conjure follow ups. These should be in by this afternoon. Sorry for the delay. I managed to fall asleep around 8pm yesterday which generally means I didn't get enough email work done because I'm often doing much of my correspondence later in the day after dinner. :(
I should be transitioning back to the old computer soon (the one I had to have fixed, which is technically a brand new computer, lol,) so this should help with email a great deal. I've been using the webmail rather than a reader to save my "sent" replies and it is NOT easily navigateable like Outlook would be. :P I can't WAIT to graduate back to a reader program when I'm done using this danged loaner. :D Speed of reply and my ability to find older threads will benefit immensely. :D
1/29/18 - Despite the weekend being my time off, I received, on average, 65 emails a day, each day. I was also doing conjure ALL WEEKEND, which I did tell everyone. This is a hugely exhausting procedure, and while I should not be expected to work on my days off as is, I had no energy to reply having done more conjure work in 3 days than I normally do in 3 months. :P Please be patient while I get back to you, as I have a huge queue of email currently.
I am going to try to connect some lust for results articles to the site. Of course, the people who need these would never bother checking this (I tend to repeat things that are posted regularly to them over and over,) but in the vain hope people DO start reading the site or my blog and save me time (even just one person doing this will save me a ton of time,) I am going to see if I can't attach a few articles for everyone. :)
ALL OVERDUE PAYMENTS (unless previously arranged to give you more time) are due. PLEASE HAVE THEM IN NOW. I am going to start taking legal action as of the first of February.
PLEASE DO NOT APPLY FOR SERVICES UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO PAY.
Please remember that I have five business days (Monday-Friday) to reply, and that the 26th WAS NOT A BUSINESS DAY as I had posted (I was conjuring.) :P Do not spam me in an attempt to get a faster reply. It isn't helpful.
1/24/18- Hey everyone, my hand is not crippled any more. I felt A LOT better after the first 2 days. Apologies again to anyone who had a chat reading bumped.
I AM DOING SPIRIT CONJURE THIS WEEKEND. SPOTS ARE LIMITED. PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP IF INTERESTED. Why do spirit conjure? It works amazingly on tough cases, and spirits can do just about anything you might want (within reason - if you want me to turn you into a werewolf, I will decline.) While most requests involve diffficult love problems or success, I think the most unique request I have ever had was from a soldier who wanted to be safe from harm and effective in combat. Needless to say, he escaped with "not even a scratch" when an explosive device went off and killed 3 of his comrades, one of which was, according to him, perhaps 3 feet away from him. So, spirits can do some amazing things.
NO MORE READINGS AFTER 7PM - I get up at 5am every single morning, and tend to be really tired after about 7pm. I need to be able to get some rest at this time to do spiritual work later in the evening, and I've bumped a few too many readings which were scheduled after 7pm lately for the reason I'm actually often asleep or too tired at the time they are scheduled, so I'm doing away with reading services after 7pm for the time being. Sorry for any inconvenience.
I am reworking the general list of services. I'd actually had that filled out perfectly and I've no idea whatsoever as to how the list disappeared. Sorry for the inconvenience. Over a month since I had to redo the site and it is STILL a working in progress. Sorry for any inconvenience.