OriginalNinjaCat.com

(Mostly) Non-Magical Things About This Job (That Many Clients Do Not Realize).

1. Not only is it rude and exasperating to not be ready to pay for a service after a lengthy consultation, it also can cost me paying business, and wastes the time of all of my active clients.
It seems to be something many people do not realize, but it's in my best interest to do a consultation quickly, because, as a business, I need to take care of business that is ready to pay me now, so I can pay the bills that keep the business running. So, if I get 5 requests for a spellwork consultation, the faster I reply to each, the more likely that I am to make a sale in each case. This doesn't mean I accept all requests (I certainly do not,) but if, as in the example above, all five of those inquiries are ready to have me start work today, and I were to reply to each one after the other, I will probably lose at least one or two of those sales, merely for not replying fast enough.

Furthermore, if I spend a few hours in consultation with a person, I am assuming I will be PAID FOR MY TIME, which, again, if I have five inquiries, there is likely to be one person, at least, who might decline to hire me for whatever reason - let's say because the odds of success are low. So, presumably, if I spent 2 hours with each prospective client, this is 10 hours of work, of which I will not be paid for 2 hours of that time. At least.

Now calculate it as everyone acting like a jerk and I work 10 hours for 0 dollars and 2 promises to pay me (whenever.) This is still no profit.

Meanwhile, those who have already paid me have less time available to work with me, because there are only so many hours in a day. What is 10 hours on paper, translates to more time lost, as I have to cast spells each day, do readings each day, leaving even a smaller percentage of time to work in email, which is very helpful to some clients. They really need my instruction and intervention in email to help their work manifest properly.

So, the next time you get a consultation, and you are not going to be ready to pay me until more than four days after the completion of said consultation (because there is a rule saying I can impose a fine in cases where you can't pay within four days,) remember how rude it is not only to me, but to everyone I work for, when you take up that time. That's why that fine exists - to stop people from being abusive of my time, which is a limited and valuable resource.

2. Everything costs me money.
I need to pay for spell supplies, - which many of you seem to understand, - but I also need to pay for electric, cable internet, for a working telephone (two, actually, because international clients use Skype which is free on my cell, but not on my landline, and I prefer the landline as it remains clear throughout the call unlike a cell, so I use a landline for readings for anyone in North America,) hosting charges, domain name charges - all of these are clearly going to be business costs. But, if I don't eat, I'll die. If I don't have a place to work spells (which can double as a residence,) I can't cast spells...basically every single thing costs me money, and asking for "free work" or getting a "free redo," is hugely costly to me. My job supports my life, and my life is my job.

This is why success is paramount to get the "first time around," but clearly, there are people who truly believe that I can just pay my bills with good intentions, nice thoughts, and your promises to totally have that bill cleared up by next week. :P

3. People with certain social anxiety issues are high risk clients.
Social Anxiety is a pretty broad term, so I would say it is a specific brand. People who are prone to defensive outbursts, who generally have a deep level of social anxiety are the worst people to work for...which really stinks, because many of them are SUPER NICE PEOPLE - until they have a defensive outburst, which is often a reaction to this fear of direct confrontation. For example, some years ago, I worked for a woman (and she was even a student,) who had this problem with assuming people were "bullying" her when they weren't even being aggressive or unkind. I had seen a few outbursts where accusations of "bullying" were shot out unexpectedly in whatever medium she was using to communicate (followed by her quickly "fleeing" from either an email thread or a group chat,) only for me to have to tell her that no one meant to upset her, and that was a very ineffective way of dealing with problems as is, because that sort of behavior actually creates a situation where people are more apt to act negatively and dismissively towards her. She admitted on more than one occasion that she had a social anxiety condition where she perceived people as being aggressive or unkind when such was not their intention and that it had been very hard on her socially (even though she recognized the problem,) which had, in turn, exacerbated the problem. This was all fine and well up until the day she purchased a $100 service, then, deciding she didn't want it, felt the best way to go about it was to do a chargeback, because I'd never performed the service, so, no biggie, right? Wrong. This cost me an extra $30 (chargeback fees,) AND it messed up a payment I was making as I had no warning that money was coming out. Had she merely asked me directly for the money back, I would have asked for a short period of time (like 1-4 hours) to adjust my own account accordingly, so I could refund her instantly. This would be free of cost to me (no penalties!), it would have been quicker for her to receive than forcing it through is, and it would have made it so our business was not permanently ended together. So, over $100 measily dollars, all through fear of having to MERELY ASK FOR A REFUND, she basically founded a new chargeback rule (refundable services which are forced through instead of requested now carry a fine to cover my costs,) and made it so I would not acknowledge her if she were on fire and I had the only bucket of water in the tri state area.

I wish I could say she was the only one. I had someone chargeback every service I ever gave her because I did not answer an email with "How is everything going? I was thinking I would like a reading - when are you availalbe this week?" as pretty much verbatim for content on a Saturday, and because I didn't answer immediately on my day off, she felt she could reverse all of the charges. Mind you, I wasn't ignoring her, - it was a scheduling email, and I figured it could wait until I opened on Monday morning. She never voiced discontent to me. Of course, she avoided conflict, but then had a meltdown and called me a "bully" (seeing a pattern?) when I sent her the contract she signed where she basically agreed that once I started the service, she was entitled to no refund, that I have five BUSINESS DAYS to reply (and not even one had passed,) and what fines she agreed to pay if she attempted a chargeback. Mind you, I wasn't rude, I forwarded documents, and said "Look, this is the contract, so please look this over because you are bound to these terms. I would like to avoid a bad outcome here, and hopefully, just looking this over, - especially the refunds clause, and 18 on the client agreement, - will help us both reach a satisfactory outcome for both of us. Oh, and please, forward any emails to me that you feel I overlooked, as your complaint to my payment processor claimed I didn't reply to you. I only see this one from Saturday and that is my day off. It means a lot to me to be sure I am not losing emails, and so I would really like to address any I did not receive. Thank you!" She told me, for my email, I'm an evil bully, and it was only that one email on the Saturday (my day off) that she could even supply as "unreplied to." Again, not even ONE business day had passed, she was just too anxious to confront me when she didn't realize (I guess,) that I have Saturday and Sunday off. When I tried to be pleasant, she panicked, and called me names. All of this could have been avoided, again, by merely voicing discomfort to me.

So, if you panic and howl "bully" or are prone to panicked outbursts, I mark you as high risk. That isn't a good mark. That means that I might not want to work for you. Chargebacks are a huge pain in the ass, and they seem to be the "weapon of choice" in people with a certain type of chronic anxiety issue, despite that I could supply a fair number of people who I have refunded when it fell under what is refunded, and these are people who I still work with. It's as if being a complete fucking asshole is somehow better to these people than the mild discomfort of saying "hey, I never got this service, can I get a refund? I realized that I just don't want it," or "Hey, are you ignoring me? I'm sort of feeling ignored," - both of which questions would actually be received with politeness, and, in the case of the second, concern as well.

4. Outside of a few people, it is rare for me to check up on a client who has gone silent, because if I do, most people think I'm looking for money.
A handful of times each year, I get people who are sort of peeved that I haven't regularly checked in on them. The thing is, when I do check on people without them having reached out first, I get people acting very uncomfortably. They seem to feel that I am trying to solicit business. I'm not - in fact, I usually have a full schedule, and it's not as easy to fit people in as you might think, - but because of the nature of their problems, I am actually concerned. Well, if experience has taught me anything, it is that I should butt the hell out of being concerned, because it is so ill-received. Mind you, none of these people are dark or acting shifty when they come for return business (and most of them do, when a new issue pops up,) but it would seem silence is actually code for "I got what I wanted, so I don't need your attention right now." Since this is how the majority acts, I have since adopted the code to just check on a few people here and there, and assume that silence means that everything is great.

5. Since there is only me to do every duty at my job, I have gotten to a point where I literally have had conditions where my life was seriously at risk, I should have been at the hospital, but I didn't want to get a chargeback so I went to work before getting medical attention
My doctor likes to joke that I am the person who would be barely able to crawl five feet, and protest that I was just fine, and I'll "just walk it off," so I don't need medical attention. My friends often say the same. Unfortunately the reality is a bit more grim. There is only one of me, and when dealing with certain personality types (see above) this means if I miss a reading because I'm dying, then someone is going attempt a chargeback the moment I'm late. Mind you, I have also asked all of my clients to move their readings when I have had issues like totally losing my voice, and having it feel like I swallowed razorblades when attempting to speak and not a one would budge their spot, or the time I had to go to a funeral so some crazy woman insisted I made that up, even when I supplied an image of a memorial card and the deceased's obituary.

That's right, like everyone else, I occasionally get sick, I have people I know die, or I might even need to see a doctor. When I almost died of cellulitis (and my right eye looked like a grapefruit was growing out of my head, which I say with no exaggeration whatsoever,) and was a few hours from septicemia and total organ shut down, I was sure to do all of my scheduled readings before I had 2 hours I could free up. I literally told the hospital to fix it in 2 hours. I had to be hooked up to IVs of antibiotics for 2 days, so, they didn't comply. Thankfully the remaining people I was supposed to talk to were kind enough to understand I was in a life-threatening situation, and yes, they could reschedule. Not surprisingly, one of the people I did talk to that day later complained that I do not do enough for her, for which I replied "I was hours away from dying and I gave you a reading - I'm afraid I have to disagree."

I'm mostly a very healthy person, so this doesn't come up frequently, but it's surprising how some people react when it has. And be assured, there is a good chance I'm working even if I do have to go to a funeral, even if I am recovering from the flu, or even, apparently, if I am fighting off an infection which could seriously kill me if I wait a few more hours to see the doctor.

6. Getting me on the phone for free is actually a very big deal.
I don't really enjoy being on the phone in any form, and so my friends and loved ones don't hear from me much. To be perfectly honest, I speak to a few of my clients more than I speak to my family, and not for liking my family less than the client. I'm just not a phone person.

That's all fine and well, and I can imagine there are many other people who are not "phone people" and would not get on the phone unless obligated.

HOWEVER, taking up extra time or demanding a phone call for free is hugely abusive in many cases, not least of all because it eats up HOURS OF TIME, which prevents me from working spells, replying to emails - and in 90% of cases, this is only done because someone wants me to repetitively answer the same 1-3 questions, and answer them for hours, or they want free emotional support (which, I am not a therapist or a cheerleader, so this technically isn't in my job description). There are people who will pay me for a HALF AN HOUR of my time, and then spend upwards of 2 hours with me on the phone. While I do offer a 2 hour phone price for much less than $280 (the current 4x the price of 30 minutes which is $70), I imagine some people would be horrified to see the "actual bill" even with that discounted price of 2 hours, if I charged them for every minute of my live time as I should.

So the next time you ask me to get on the phone for "just a few minutes" for no cost to you, or the next time you keep me on the phone far longer than for the paid amount, keep in mind that because of you, I may be working several unpaid hours, I might need to reschedule spellwork, and I may be farther behind on correspondence. Further, a lack of blog articles is almost wholly caused by "free calls," because working to author blog articles is a lot of my "free time." It's a VERY BIG DEAL if I get on the phone for free. Do not kid yourself that it wasn't.

7. The people who behave the worst are usually those who had their cases declined before they even hired me. About 2/3 of them actually stalked me - some for months on end.
Imagine this - you drink and drive, and you get caught so doing, and arrested. Your first call is to a lawyer, who just happens to be a divorce lawyer, NOT a criminal attorney. That attorney will decline to help you, because he or she clearly does not work in the criminal aspect of law. Now imagine some people freaking out, telling off the attorney, calling him or her at home to tell them off, texting them, writing reviews about what a jerk this person is, and just spending massive amounts of time harrassing and abusing this divorce attorney because he or she is not a criminal attorney.

Now imagine this, - you break your foot, and you shatter it into so many pieces, that it literally looks like a sock devoid of a foot inside. You ask the first doctor "Doc, do you think you can repair my foot?" The doctor replies, "Really, I think that I can't. You should seek a second opinion, but my opinion is that the foot can't be fixed." Instead of just asking for a second opinion, you scream in the doctor's face, calling the doctor a quack, a fake, not a real doctor, a scammer, a pig, and when the doctor walks off, you look up his or her personal info, you call everyone you know who associates with the doctor, and to just call this person a quack, a fake, a scammer, a cunt, a piece of shit - mind you, your foot is still damaged and rotting, and you're doing nothing for it, lessening any chance that ANYONE COULD FIX IT.

Above, you have how certain people react to getting their spellwork declined before a hire. Mind you, in both cases, the doc and the lawyer are not saying NO ONE WILL HELP YOU, they are saying that they personally can't be of assistance. Yet, people take this so personally that I have a reputation for being a "bitch" the moment I say the very same "Sorry, I can't be of assistance." I've literally had people stalk me for several weeks at a time to call me names. That isn't an exaggeration.

And really, if anyone declines to be of service, all you should do is move on. There is no need to become abusive whatsoever, and if you feel super polite, you can thank them for their time, but even that is wholly unneccessary. I mean, people want me to spend well over an hour explaining why I declined sometimes, and that is all unpaid work (see above how that impacts my entire clientele,) when in reality, they are better served just moving onto someone else who feels that they can be of assistance. This is a lot of the reason why I say "Don't press me for more details when I decline," because 9 times out of 10, people who do this are looking for either a reason to become rude and abusive, or they are trying to convince me to take them on anyhow, which is not going to work. I supply most declined cases with a brief reason as to why I can't help. It is all the info on "why" required for them to understand why I declined.

8. I would save at least 10 hours a week if more people read the FAQ and were familiar with the Terms of Service, and Client Agreement.
Unsurprisingly, I spent hours on each of those online documents that both impart important information, while also (at least in the case of the last two,) make up your contract to work with me. Perhaps also unsurprisingly, people do not use the information on those pages before contacting me with a question clearly answered there, OR without breaking those rules or parts of their contract, which requires me to point out that they agreed to the terms therein.

What might be surprising is how much time I waste EACH WEEK repeating this information. This isn't literally the first question of the FAQ (which is what methods of payment I take,) being repeated 10-15 times a day (that takes moments,) but rather several questions and issues which have been covered and discussed on those pages which someone was far too lazy to read, so now I have to take precious precious time up to answer those questions at length, or to explain why somemone is breaking their contract. Imagine all the lovely extra time I'd have for articles and for even additional case work, or even for (gasp) doing housework, or chatting with a friend, or even having an hour to myself. :)

9. If I get too busy at work, I don't have time to do things like clean or run small errands.
I literally have had times where the dishes pile up, my floor is unvaccumed, and I haven't showered in 3-4 days. This isn't because I enjoy being unwashed and living in filth, it's because if the decision is between 6 hours of sleep, or 5 hours of sleep and all my dishes washed (or five hours sleep and the entire hour showering and all that is involved takes up,) I'm going to choose sleep. Some of you have heard me doing things like preparing meals and washing out ritual tools and so forth during a reading. This is why. What I can't do while doing a reading is go out and pay a bill, or pick something up from the store that I need. So, when I seem a bit irked because you clearly are ignoring the length of time you paid for and are going over that time, it might be because I have some non-business-related stuff that I need to do, and repeating the same answer to your same question that you've been asking me (just rephrasing it,) for the last 45 minutes seems less and less important to the person who smells like armptis and who has every single dish dirty each time she answers it (and is no longer getting paid to do so.)

I do my job because I love it, but also because I get PAID to do it. If I'm slacking on things in my personal life because I'm paid for every minute taking me away from time to dedicate to my personal life, I'll be happier (and that has happened,) but if I get busy because people are not respecting my time, AND I'm not getting paid to take away from my personal time, it's very irritating. I also really hate being smelly and living with a too-sloppy home.

10. I hate to say it, but I probably think your ex is a jerk.
In some cases, "jerk" is even too nice. Look, I don't have to love them or even like them, but if you ask me if I think that person is a completely awful jerk, I am probably going to answer in the affirmative. If you don't like that answer, please don't ask the question

11. Once Windows 7 Mail was no longer available to me, my organizational abilities were never the same.
Seriously, I used to have a near-infalliable system. Then they stopped making that system available to me. :/ It was the best of mail, whereas the current products do not really come close. So, if you noticed I'm more capable of losing an email now, it is because Microsoft decided that it was only in the best interest of themselves to stop making the best email program ever. :P

12. I really do send chargebacks and overdue accounts into collections, and yes, they will totally report you to the credit reporting bureau. 
After a few years of "the chargeback generation" coming of age (somewhere around 2016, what went from once every 2 years became once every few months, because a certain generation apparently wasn't raised right - it's almost always people born after a specific year who pull this), and getting screwed on trivial amounts when allowing payment plans, I decided to fight back. Yep, most of the time I do win the chargeback fight, which is still a pain in the ass, because I might have to wait 120 days to get the money back. And yes, I stopped offering payment plans because too often people got what they wanted, then didn't pay the remaining balance. Today, I use a collections company, and I apply every single fine before sending you there. My collections service is not composed  of demons, but it might feel like that when they start calling you and sending you things like subpoenas. :) I'm also not sorry if you can't get a mortgage, car loan, or rent an apartment because you didn't pay me what you owe me. Just pay me, and it will come right off of your credit report. :)